I’m sorry for not writing much recently. I’ve had a little bit of a hard time convincing myself that there is nothing I can do to make this situation any better.
After deciding to push ahead with another round of retrieval, I’ve tried to focus on the little positives with this whole situation.
1 — My fear/aversion of injections has disappeared. Seriously, giving myself an intramuscular injection in my “love handles” with an inch and half needle has convinced me that I can handle any shot/IV without flinching an inch. Ha.
2 — I’m appreciative of being born when I was. My grandmother had problems getting pregnant for years – 14 years to be exact. In the end, she had a miracle pregnancy at age 37, resulting in my mom (her only child). Since then, incredible advancements have been made in the field of infertility. I’m glad that I have access to those, both financially and physically.
3 — My relationship with my wife has become stronger. The vulnerability that we feel, together, is just another thing that we can share in our marriage.
4 — I’ve reconnected with friends that I had lost touch with. There are so many of you reading this blog that been on the same road that we are heading down. You’ve reached out, shared your stories, given your support, and, most importantly, shown the love that you have for us in our journey.
Our journey over the past two weeks hasn’t been terrible. I went to visit an acupuncturist twice before driving to Denver. There isn’t a ton of evidence that acupuncture works for improved retrieval rates, but honestly, I’ll take any hope at this point.
Additionally, our doctor has put us on a new protocol — one that involves many more shots (5 per day). It is a careful balance between a hormone that promotes follicle growth and a second that diminishes my ability to ovulate (to protect my ovaries from ovulating early and releasing all of these eggs prior to surgical retrieval). It is a slow and steady race — but we are looking at 15 follicles right now! This is amazing for my body. To compare:
IVF #1 — 5 follicles grew, 4 eggs retrieved, 2 fertilized and transferred (no pregnancy)
IVF #2 — 7 follicles grew, 6 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 1 grew to Day 5 but was abnormal
With 15 potential follicles, we will hopefully get more eggs to work with, and maybe, just maybe a normal embryo that we can transplant back in!
Thank you again for the prayers, thoughts, messages, and love. Please cross your fingers (and your toes!) that this round goes better for us!